Insecurity

Insecurity is something most, if not all, feel at some point in life.  Some feel it for much longer than a moment, a week, a day.  This is something I know deeply.  Insecurity, like fear itself, encompasses many things.  It can be caused by many things, and can cause shyness and a general uneasiness with life.  It would seem, this particular state of mind and soul mingles with my last post.  Fear of touch, of people, etc.  In all reality, anything and everything I post here will simply come back to fear, but I like to explore different facets.

Let's look at the causes of insecurity.  One cause could be violence in the home.  A girl could be abused by her dad or a boy abused by his mom, causing an insecurity, an uneasiness around people of the opposite sex.  Another cause could be bullying.  A child is mentally and physically abused by their peers, or even their teachers.  Maybe the main cause is simply: rejection.

Now the effect.  Anxiety, uneasiness, shyness, literally crawling into corners, avoiding eye contact.  Some insecure people even (as we've all known) resort to bullying to cope; it's almost as if they're taking vengeance on their past.  Some crawl into the arms of a lover in the hope of finding some essence of security, stability, love.  Some bury themselves in work.  Others bury themselves in partying.  It's actually quite interesting what the effects are, and how many there are.  Some surround themselves with friends, or at least try; always looking for acceptance.  Maybe the main effect is simply: a longing for acceptance.

Makes you wonder.  Maybe that's the problem in society.  It's a vicious cycle.  We become insecure, then we either abuse or avoid, and all it does is cause others' insecurity.  Psychologically, it causes a nearly insurmountable battle in the individual mind, causes questions that are nearly unanswerable.

Yes, let's look there.  The mind, the heart, the soul (they're all interconnected).  The battle that ensues consumes, truly.  You ask yourself who you are, what you are, what you want to be, the price of who you've become in order to cope.  You start to beg for stability, for answers.

You look in all the wrong places.

Of course, I cannot tell you those answers, you must find those on your own.  I can tell you this: those answers lie neither within nor in the arms of a lover.  You must search, learn from mistakes, keep asking those questions; it will not be instantaneous.  It will take time.  Trust me, it's painful, but answers will come.  Don't forget to pray.  Whether you believe it or not, it is a powerful thing, and you are heard.